My thoughts are in Knoxville

While I was preaching that there are many paths to truth and we must engage each other in our differences with mutual love, a man opened fire in the Tennessee Valley UU Church in Knoxville. Here's more info -a description of the UU response & service Mondayand an article about some of those shot.

My thoughts are with those in Knoxville, and those all over who dare to believe in welcoming and loving all people (geez, I never thought that was a dangerous statement before).

In lighter news, I got sucked into the squirrel-chasing. When I was home alone the other night and the squirrel came, I opened the window and yelled at it. When it came back, I poured water on its head - that did the trick and it didn't come back. Now, why is it so bad for a squirrel to be eating from a birdfeeder?

Squirrels and Preaching

Ahhhhhh, suburban life. Yes, this is a squirrel baffler. It's supposed to prevent squirrels from getting into the birdfeeder and eating that precious birdfood. But the squirrels here in West Hartford are too smart (must be the good schools) -- they manage to climb up the corner of the porch and jump onto the birdfeeder anyways. Ok, that's fine - a bit annoying, kinda funny, but fine, says I.

But not my dad. No sirreeebob. When he sees the squirrel on the birdfeeder, he jumps up, runs outside, and chases the squirrel at a fast clip while barking. Yes, barking, like a dog! And this from the rather bookish man who rarely moves quickly! When the squirrel inevitably comes back, Dad (or Mom, cuz she's party to this madness as well) goes for the water hose. Doesn't matter if we're in the middle of a game, or a great conversation, or dinner--squirrel-on-birdfeeder means emergency response! Luckily, my parents are good at laughing at themselves. It's a ridiculous sight!

In other news, I preached today. It went well, I'm glad I did it (and even enjoyed it), and glad it's over. I'm not done thinking about the tension between freedom and responsibility, between justice & tolerance though. My punch line was that we need to engage different opinions when we're in a community of love -- I gave the example of the lone republican in a UU congregation (and yes, he came up to me and thanked me at the end), but I didn't talk about what about the lone radical queer who doesn't support marriage equality. I realized on the way home that I don't actually do what I told others to do - I have seldom spoken up when I've disagreed with the apparent majority in my congregation, and that's what I was calling on folks to do. Yep, I got work to do to! Gosh, this faith thing is hard!

That's my post-sermon rant of the day. I'll spare you the self-criticism about how I'll improve the sermon-writing process next time, but I will give major props & gratitude to Leah for tons of amazing feedback & sermon fodder.

Two weeks left of CPE, three weeks 'til I'm back in the Bay!

Until the killing of black men, black mothers' sons....

Living in Oakland, I'm aware of violence and killing of mostly black & brown young men - but I've never known anyone who's been hurt, never been directly impacted by it. Responding to trauma calls as a chaplain here in Hartford, however, my colleagues and I witness the impacts of street violence firsthand. Wow. I'm horrified and outraged - both at what's happening and at how little attention I've paid to similar violence at home in Califas.

Here are the stories in the paper of cases that came to our hospital just from the last 5 days:

Thursday night: Two Women Injured In Hartford Stabbing

Friday night:
Police: Teenager Attacked Stepsister
(and, on the lighter side, though still not minor, Two State Troopers Hurt In Accident

Saturday night:
3 Dead In Hartford Incidents Over The Weekend

Jakeem Jaquan Tully, RIP

Monday night:
Seventeen-Year-Old Suffers Neck Wound In Hartford

May all those impacted by all of this violence heal in body and spirit,
May they be surrounded by comforting love,
And may all find and create peace, from the North End of Hartford to Baghdad.

I won't say the Q word, but...

I'm on-call again - it's been a glorious 2 weeks since I was last here overnight, which probably explains my relaxed state of mind. I'm trying to air out the dank, moldy, basement on-call priest room - I've got the window and the door wide open on this beautiful, if hot & sticky, afternoon. One of the things I like least about on-call is being inside with recirculated air for 24 hours straight (well, that and the lack of sleep that often comes with it). I try to eat my meals outside on the sliver of grass in the shade - I say "try" because it's often while eating that I get paged. I carry not one, but TWO beepers when I'm on-call: my beeper (so anyone who wants a chaplain can find me) and the code beeper, which automatically beeps whenever there's a "code" (meaning someone's breathing or heart stopped) or a trauma (meaning a serious emergency coming to the ER). I never know what I'll find when I respond to a page - sometimes someone simply wants a bible or got banged up falling off a ladder, and sometimes is about to die or just died. So far today I got paged to see a woman who wanted prayer before an operation and to the bedside of a family whose aged matriarch is in her last hours.

I won't write the Q word here - it's forbidden when on-call and generally in the ER (if you need a hint, it's a 5 letter word that ends in T). I certainly don't count on a calm night, but I am confident and comfortable in my role and have enough experience under my belt (some of it horrific) that I'm pretty calm and expect to stay that way tonight. It also helps that I don't have to work tomorrow! There's little worse than a long day/night on-call followed by a morning of intensive learning and processing with my peers!

To Risk

I'm trying to get inspired for a sermon on the 4th UU principle ("a free and responsible search for truth and meaning"). I've written all of 3 sermons in my life and it's pretty daunting, especially amidst the exhaustion of CPE and that it's the first time I'll preach to a congregation that I'm not a part of. Feel free to send me your thoughts on what a "free and responsible search" means to you!

In the meantime, I came upon this reading in the UU hymnal:

To Risk
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk explosing our true self.
To place our ideas - our dreams - before the crowd is to risk loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
To live is to risk dying.
~ Anonymous, #658 in Singing the Living Tradition

I'm generally risk-averse person, but I'm trying to risk more. I love how this captures the joys and terrors of taking risks!

Cathy, the On Call Priest!

This is the sign outside the room that I stay in when I'm on call for 24 hours each week.